Oh, yeah, New Year’s Eve brings me back to the blog. Of course!
Around this time a year ago I was writing about risk. It was my internal guide, to a degree. It was the thing that has pushed me to do things I honestly never thought I would do. Risk wasn’t about danger, it was about being outside my comfort zone and outside my norms.
A spur of the moment walking date with a British guy I met on the Vegas Strip at 4 A.M. (letting me know just how obsessed with cinnamon Americans seem), life-changing travels I will never forget, impersonating Avril Lavigne like a boss, and even handing a small piece of my heart to someone I knew would be on another continent for over two years. All a small sample of what Risk pushed me to do this year. And it has been great. I’m certainly better for the risks.
Life’s many varied interjections and intersections–over which I have no control–have played a significant role in my year, too.
Losing Dad is a continuing challenge, and I know it will always be part of who I am and how I view the world. I get so incredibly sad about it at random moments. Just last night I overheard some people I’d just met, talking about the horrors of leukemia and cancer generally, and I’m only just now shaking off how much pain their innocuous and unwitting conversation caused me. It hurts, but I’m always trying to learn from his passing. I think I at least can take away from that experience a value for life and for time with loved ones and for self-improvement.
I know that I’ll never fully transform into some superhuman. I’m always going to be me. The same, normal human. I hope, though, that when I peace out of life I’m a pretty damn great version of me. That’s why, this year, I’m just going to look inwardly. I want to just refine me. Get a bit better in ways that matter to me and to those with whom I interact. I know I will remain the same, goofy, fun-loving, perhaps a little awkward human I am now, but I’m sure of a myriad ways I could just do a bit better.
That’s my 2018: a bit better. Risk went well and will probably remain a part of my mindset, but a bit better is… dare I say it?… probably going to be even a bit better.
Hope all two of you who read this are doing spectacularly! Happy New Year!