Life Lesson #0007: Gaydar

compact-discThis life lesson is for a subset of humanity: Millennial women in the 2000s who are concerned their man friend that they want to be their boyfriend might be gay.

(DISCLAIMER: Yes, this is advice for people from the last decade. And yes, this is primarily advice for one person in ONE situation and should not be blanketed and turned into a stereotype or a commentary on a stereotype… I think you’ll understand this ranting disclaimer in a moment.)

Give him a mix CD.  (I told you this advice was dated.) Fill the first half of this mix CD with sappy, over-the-top love songs. Songs with lyrics like, “I’m falling stupid for you,” “I finally found the nerve to confess that it’s you that I want,” or “nothing else will do, I’ve gotta have you.” The other half?

Mika.

Just Mika songs. Ya know, some “Grace Kelly,” “Lollipop,” and perhaps “Love Today.”

The test: which half of the CD does he mention when you reconvene after he’s had a good listen?

I think you know what you might surmise from the results.

 

Why did I think to offer this advice? I’m out of mobile data to use on my smartphone. So I’ve been listening to my car radio instead of streaming music on my phone. This morning I couldn’t handle all the talk radio, ads, and crappy songs. So what did I do? I hit play on the mix CD that has been stuck in my CD player since 2007.

 

Results: Me singing with enthusiasm,

“I could be brown,
I could be blue,
I could be violet sky!
I could be hurtful,
I could be purple,
I could be anything you like!”

 

 

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